old at being young, young at being old

I am frequently torn between my desire to live simply and renounce material possessions, and my desire to own nice furniture. In the long run, I have a sinking suspicion the furniture will win.

In less than a month I have to start paying back my student loans. While I was living on my loans it never seemed like real money, and I always thought by the time I have to pay them back it wouldn't seem like much money. Well, I'm there. And it seems like a lot of money. I feel like I've really hit the heart of my mid 20's (and I guess technically last Monday was the exact midpoint of my 20's so that is only appropriate). In that transitional stage where responsibilities are more real and the wardrobe is business casual but furniture is still second hand and dinner frequently comes out of a cereal box and nearly every aspect of my future is a giant question mark. It can be liberating but at the same time overwhelming. And in my particular case, a little lonely. We spend our first 18 years with our family, after that I think a lot of times college kids become eachothers family, and then you start your own family. My college family is now spread out across the country (or really the world) and I don't have my own yet. Luckily there are times like Thanksgiving where my real family and my college family are all together and I'm reminded I'm not really alone. I think it will be enough to last me til Christmas.