mmmm. . . cookies
Have you ever seen the movie Sliding Doors? I saw it in high school, so I don't remember it very well. What I do remember is it looks at the timing of when Gwyneth Paltrow's character came home. In one version she got home early and found her husband cheating on her, and in the other she came home on time and was never the wiser. It follows the drastically different ways this small thing, catching or missing a train had on her life. It is overwhelming to think that minutes, and even seconds can change our lives. So, if the whole idea of fate is bullshit, and it is just chance, then timing really can be everything. Getting somewhere a minute earlier or a minute later really could alter the course of your entire life, yet if it doesn't happen really I guess I'll never be the wiser. So I should probably take the good advice I was offered, and try to live my life rather than thinking about it so much.
currently eating: chocolate chip cookies
listening to: Garden State Soundtrack
Avoiding: writing lesson plans for next week
Reading: 100 Years of Solitude
"you can stand there and agonize til your agony's your heaviest load" --Indigo Girls
posted by tara @ 5:29 PM
7 comments
7 Comments:
I don´t think that missing that train changed her life. There are many ways to know if your boyfriend is cheating on you, as well as there are many ways to lie to yourself and block it.
Hey Tara,
Sometimes I do believe timing is everything, especially if it's meeting a guy you could potentially fall in love with and marry. Many of my relationships with guys haven't worked out precisely because of timing. I'm ready for a serious relationship, and they aren't ready for that sort of commitment because they need more time, or vice-versa, he feels ready with me, but I don't with him. If two people are at completely different points in their lives, and want different things at that point, then isn't timing everything? Timing can mean a successful relationship, or it can mean a failed relationship. It can determine who you will be with for the rest of your life. It seems I meet guys at the worst time, like right before I leave to go teach in a foreign country. If I had met this guy or any other guy when I was secure in my life and they were secure in theirs', wouldn't it be different? If my path somehow crosses with theirs' again and we both want that relationship then that may be a sign of that so-called "fate." One interesting aspect that the movie touches on is that even though she missed the train in one life, and didn't in the other, she still ended up meeting that guy in both lives. If it's meant to be, it will happen, maybe not now, but when you and him are both ready. One other important detail of the movie is that what at first seems like a negative situation (finding your boyfriend copulating with another woman)can ultimately lead to something more positive, her finding an actual good guy. I think wonderful experiences can come out of what at first seems unbearable. I think it's good to involve yourself in social scenes, so as to optimize the potential of meeting someone. There's nothing worse than thinking, "Should I have gone to that party, or gone out?," because it's better than sitting at home thinking "I wonder what I missed, or who could I have met?," because you're not going to meet anyone sitting on your couch watching t.v. The times I have met some great people are nights when I didn't even plan on going out or of meeting a guy. Meeting someone happens when you least expect it; when it's the furthest thing from your mind, so it is probably a good idea to not think about it so much, and just hang out to have fun and to enjoy the experience.
I just wanted to make another comment about the "at a crossroads" blog and about you debating about changing locations. People think changing locations can give them a fresh start, and I suppose in some ways it can, but it doesn't miraculously solve your problems. If people believe that changing your geographical location will somehow change you into a different person, it won't. Take it from someone who has gone through the experience. The same baggage, and thoughts, and issues that I dealt with in Eau Claire are still with me. There are many traits I'd like to change about myself, and in some ways I would like to create a new identity, but it's not going to happen. I still can't rid myself of memories of people or events I'd like to forget, and let's face it, those memories are what make us who we are. I still carry the baggage of loneliness, which I've felt since I was little, and it doesn't have anything to do with how many people are around me; I could be in a room with 100 people and have my closest friends there, and I'd still feel lonely. It has to do with something inside of me and a feeling I have always had. I've met people teaching abroad and I have things I can do every weekend with them, but my cursed feeling still haunts me. I'm obviously searching for something, and changing places doesn't stop me from still searching for it. I'm hopeful about the future, and I've made one important decision for myself: to not let fear rule my life.
Your friend,
Alison
Alison,
I couldn't agree more, about the huge effect of timing on relationships. a friend of mine said that people get married based on timing. You end up marrying the person you are with when you are both ready to get married. . . a bit unromantic but often true. I also totally agree about the involving yourself in social scenes, because you are SO right. Two of the best nights of my life were when I had been planning on staying home, and definitely not planning on meeting anyone. Also thanks for the refresher on the movie. . . I really didn't remember anything else about the plot, but that's right. . . she ends up with the new guy either way doesn't she. So ultimately it was reinforcing that maybe there is such thing as fate. Thanks for the comments, I love them. You should think about starting your own blog!
Umm… Oddly enough Sliding Doors was on UPN over the weekend and I was able to catch some bits and pieces as I was trying to find something else to watch. She doesn't really end up with the new guy in one case. In the version where she finds out about the cheater, it ends with her dying in a car accident while out with newbie. In the other she ends up in the hospital and breaks it off with cheater and meets the new guy in the elevator.
-"Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition"
wow, i should really just rent this movie so i can know what i'm talking about. thanks for filling me in. I am now going back to the crazy impact timing can have and how any given instant can completely change the course of your life, and going back to change one thing could change everything else. . . like in Frequency (another movie i don't remember that much about and probably am screwing up the plot to)
The point I was trying to make about the movie is that in both situations, she ends up meeting the new guy, even though in the one situation, she dies at the end. Maybe it's fate that she's supposed to meet this guy no matter what.
This idea of changing one thing changing everything else reminds me of another movie: "The Butterfly Effect." That movie freaked me out because it was all about the choices you make and the consequences from those choices.
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